In recent years, some people have begun identifying as “ex-Muslims” - those who were once part of the faith but have since left Islam. For some, this change is rooted in trauma or misunderstanding. For others, it’s linked to negative experiences within the Muslim community, unanswered questions, or a desire to live without restrictions.

As Muslims who care about Da’wah, our goal is not to shame, argue, or cancel them. Our goal is to understand their journey and offer clarity, empathy, and hope - just as the Prophet ﷺ did when speaking to those who had doubts or left belief behind.

Talking to ex-Muslims is not about “winning” a debate. It’s about softening a heart.

Why This Conversation Matters

1. Many Ex-Muslims Are Hurting

Leaving Islam is rarely an intellectual decision. It’s often emotional, driven by pain, pressure, or disappointment. Some have suffered family abuse, others were never taught the beauty of the deen, and many feel rejected by the very people who should have supported them.

Approaching them with judgment only confirms the image they already have of Muslims. But approaching them with mercy can challenge that image entirely.

2. They’re Still on a Journey

Someone who leaves Islam is not necessarily finished with faith. Many ex-Muslims still think about God, reflect on their past, or search for meaning elsewhere. Their hearts may be closed now, but hearts can change - especially when met with sincere care.

3. The Prophet ﷺ Showed Mercy to Those Who Rejected Him

The Prophet ﷺ was insulted, rejected, and driven out by people, yet he still prayed for their guidance. He never gave up on anyone, even those who opposed him openly.

That example must guide how we speak to ex-Muslims today. No matter how harsh their words may be, our response must be better.

How to Approach the Conversation

1. Start with Empathy, Not Assumptions

Before quoting a verse or hadith, start with sincere empathy. Ask yourself:

• What have they been through?

• What caused them to leave?

• Have they been misunderstood or mistreated?
  
  

Listen carefully to their story without interrupting. Sometimes, just being heard can open the door to healing.

2. Avoid Debates and Labels

Don’t try to “win” with logic or corner them into silence. And avoid using labels like “apostate” or “murtad” in casual conversation - these can push someone further away, especially if they’ve already been made to feel like an outsider.

Keep the focus on dialogue, not diagnosis.

3. Clarify Misconceptions with Wisdom

Many ex-Muslims leave because they misunderstood Islam, not because of the Deen itself, but because of how it was presented to them. Be patient in unpacking:

• Cultural practices vs. actual Islamic teachings

• Mercy in Islam vs. how Muslims may act

• Context behind laws or verses that confuse them
  
  

Present Islam with clarity, balance, and compassion.

4. Share Personal Reflections, Not Just Rulings

Sometimes what reaches the heart is not a fatwa, but a story. Share how Islam helped you. Talk about your own struggles with doubt, or how you found peace in prayer or purpose in submission.

Relatability often opens hearts faster than rules do.

5. Acknowledge Harm If It Was Done

If an ex-Muslim shares a story of abuse, neglect, or trauma from the Muslim community, don’t defend it. Acknowledge it. Say: “I’m sorry that happened. That’s not how Islam teaches us to treat one another.”

Being honest about some of our community’s shortcomings can restore trust.

6. Be Patient and Consistent

Guidance is not in our hands. You might speak to someone for years and see no change. Or you might say one kind word that they remember later. Either way, don’t rush or pressure them.

Our role is to plant seeds - Allah is the One who guides.

Final Thoughts: Lead with Sincerity, End with Dua

Talking to someone who has left Islam can feel challenging, emotional, or even personal. But it’s one of the most important forms of Da’wah because behind every “ex-Muslim” is a soul still in need of truth, mercy, and hope.

Keep your heart soft. Keep your words sincere. And keep your intentions pure.

“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best.” (Qur’an – 16:125)

Want to learn more about compassionate and effective Da’wah?

Explore our free online training at www.mopacademy.org and grow into a Da’ee who guides with gentleness, not force.